Create quality time with you partner

This morning I had the greatest fortune to remember that each moment I breathe the breath of life is a spectacular gift that can never be replicated. No two seconds are identical. No two hours the same. No two days with everything in common. I can never go back and live a minute that has gone by, nor redo a moment in my past. Second chances don’t exist, only new opportunities in unknown times.

My realization came when I discovered that I had been resenting my husband, Bruce. I was begrudging him for a host of “infractions,” from leaving his dirty coffee spoon on the counter in a puddle of spilled java, to not complimenting me as often as I thought he “should,” or for spending “too much time” on the computer. By holding on to these resentments, I was squandering each new moment I had with Bruce. Fortified by my resentments, I stayed stuck in past emotions and memories where I held onto hurt feelings and unloving thoughts. Consumed with such resentment I didn’t truly have much of me left over to experience the present moment. In fact, it was at this point that I understood that I had treated time like some trinket that I thought I could simply replace.

But time isn’t a good we can recycle. A minute of time today may have an equivalent 60-second span tomorrow, but it doesn’t have an exact replacement. So every minute we live is one we can never truly retrieve. The time I had thrown away to holding a grudge against Bruce represented life moments I could never recapture. Each second spent was lost to me forever. I was desolate and grief stricken. Thank god I was also reawakened. I knew that I did not want to give up my minutes, days, months, and years to such pointless activity. I wanted to live my life, savoring each and every breath as a once in a lifetime, unreplicatable, unreplayable, unrepeatable event I am blessed to experience.

So I dismounted from my artificial high horse of self-righteousness and self-pity and planted myself firmly back on solid ground. I owned up to my unloving behavior and sought forgiveness from Bruce. I also forgave him for any slights—real or perceived. In that moment, with my forgiveness offered to him and his extended to me, I saw him with new eyes. The mask through which my resentful self had viewed him disappeared and I was once more connected to this most amazing man. No longer was resentment filtering my life experience. No more was I clear cutting the minutes, hours and days from my life. I was back in the present moment, taking in each moment with reverence and appreciation for its uniqueness.

This spirit lingers with me today as I write this. At 7:57.08, I type these words and look out my window seeing a tree that will be somehow altered at 7:57.50 as I continue hitting the keys. While I may not have the discernment to notice all that is different in just 42 seconds of elapsed time, I have the awareness to know that change has occurred. Knowing that I won’t have another chance to see this minute again, I’m more conscious of how I’m spending my time. It’s far too precious for me to take for granted, its opportunities too wonderful to throw away where they won’t ever be found in the same way again.

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Using Modern Wedding Vows to Create an Unforgettable Experience on Your Wedding Day

Modern wedding vows have sometimes been thought of as being non-traditional and, therefore, strange or inappropriate. However, many brides and grooms today are choosing to write their own wedding vows that put a personal and unique aspect into their dream wedding. For example, some of the most unique and beautiful wedding vows are combined with the lovely unity sand ceremony. Traditionally, it was the minister or officiant who decided upon a couple's wedding vows according to either a religious affiliation or a civil ceremony. Today's couples are taking a more active role in writing their own wedding vows according to their desired expressions of their steadfast love throughout the years.

To find a variety of modern wedding vows isn't at all difficult. Most book stores have books that will help you decide upon romantic wedding vows that will make your special day memorable. Or you can choose to write your own wedding vows. This is especially easy because of the many workbooks available that teach you how to write your vows together, straight from your heart! If you would like to combine your own modern wedding wording with the elegance and emotionally moving unity sand ceremony, there are on-line sites that will take you through every step you need to perfect your sand ceremony vows.

Whether you select your modern wedding vows or write your own, both of you can express yourself in words and phrases that are meaningful for you. An intimate wedding where you pledge your hearts and your lives to each other is a day that will always live in your memory. You'll find that the language of today's vows, especially when combined with the unity sand ceremony, is also more modern. For example, one of the more traditional wedding verses includes the words, "And thereto I plight thee my troth." Today's brides and grooms have difficulty determining just what this means! A modern wedding vow in this case could read, "And today I pledge to you all that I own, and all that I am." Modern English is much more suitable for today's couples than vows spoken in the Middle English of Shakespeare's time.

Contemporary writers of modern wedding vows suggest wedding ceremony vows that are much more simplistic and meaningful to modern couples. There are several elements that a couple should consider when selecting or writing their vows: (1) A profession of enduring love, (2) An expression of gratitude that the bride/groom has come into the others' life, (3) A reference to religious or spiritual meaning of marriage if desired, (4) How the bride/groom has enhanced the others' life, and (5) The spoken promises of faithfulness and steadfast love through good times and bad. These elements of unique wedding vows need not be in any particular order.

All these modern wedding wording exemplars can be used in conjunction with the enhancement of the lovely unity sand ceremony which will serve as a tangible reminder of a couple's wedding day. The sand ceremony vows are easy to select or to write; today's brides and grooms can use this elegant ceremony as a unique expression of their love and devotion to each other. Using the unity sand ceremony is particularly meaningful for blended families; no other modern wedding ceremony is as beautiful and all-inclusive than this ceremony. For an even more intimate wedding, couples may elect to use lines of poetry and even words from songs that speak the words they would like to express.

For an even more unique expression in modern wedding vows, many books about writing your own vows contain suggestions and worksheets about how to personalize your vows by considering how you felt upon first meeting each other, why you were interested in pursuing your relationship, what traits and qualities each of you brings to your marriage, how you felt at the proposal, what you would like your officiant to say about the rings, what dream or vision you have for your marriage, and many more expressions of your love for each other. There is no limit or rules about what you wish to include in your modern wedding vows; the beauty and romance of the unity sand ceremony vows is an example of how today's couples can completely personalize their wedding by their individual sand color choices and the words they speak to each other while pouring their sand into their chosen vessel.

Cultural aspects are also gaining increased popularity in modern wedding verses. For example, African American brides in the US often pay homage to their cultural ancestry by following the tradition of brides in Kenya and Nigeria by braiding their hair on their wedding day to form a sort of crown on top of their heads. She takes her unique wedding vows in the same manner as her ancient ancestors. An integral part of Chinese unique wedding vows is to include the vows with the ancient tea ceremony. As the Irish bride repeats her modernized vows, she still speaks these vows with a bit of Irish lace tucked into her gown.

More than ever, modern wedding vows are designed to meet the emotional needs of the bride and groom rather than vows dictated by religious tradition. While a couple may pledge their steadfast love in modern language, their intentions are no less solemn and heartfelt than the old traditional vows.

Sharon Vaz is founder of http://www.unitysandceremony.net, an authority website dedicated to providing brides resources on planning a spectacular Unity Sand Ceremony.