Thinking about writing your own wedding vows? If so, you're not alone. Millions of couples are bypassing traditional ceremonies in favor of something that's more personal - and that's great! But problems arise when couples aren't clear with each other about the style of vows they want. What mood do you want to convey? Light-hearted and cute? Short and sweet? Witty? Sentimental? There are almost as many styles of vows as there are vows themselves. Here's a quick guide to a few of the more popular styles to help you choose the one that best suits you and your spouse-to-be.
Traditional
Yes, you can still be "traditional" even if you aren't sticking to the prepared wedding vow script. If you are aiming to be very traditional, all you need to do to prepare is to look up a traditional wedding vow, such as those that begin with phrases such as, "In the name of God," or "From this moment, I (name) promise to take you (name), to be my wife/husband..." and so on and so forth. Once you find a traditional vow you like, rewrite it to fit your own personal feelings towards your partner.
Sentimental
If you wish to write a romantic wedding vow, and you are not endowed with the gift of poetry, you can look into reading some famous love poetry - for example, sonnets by Shakespeare -- and see if you can use one of their ideas as a way to express your feelings about your partner. You may even wish to quote the poet directly, by referring to lines in their poem. You can also think about the love songs that you will be using during your special day, and see if the lyrics of these songs can help you to express the way you feel.
Lighthearted and cute
If being lighthearted and cute sounds fitting, you can go about implementing this style in your wedding vows by first thinking of all the fond memories you shared with your partner that really made you smile and brought you closer together. Write down each one of these memories and choose the one that you believe to be the most suited and tasteful for your wedding. This style is an excellent way of expressing how much you loved your partner before, and how much more you love them now.
Witty
If you have a sharp sense of wit, it could be one of the many characteristics that your partner loves about you so much. Use your sense of wit to your advantage by using tasteful humor to spice up a wedding vow by making it romantically playful. However, as a strong word of caution, if you've noticed no one seems to laugh at your jokes, or you can never seem to get the punch-line of a joke, you may want to fess up to your lack of wit and choose another style for your wedding vows. You may also want to take into account that your sense of wit may be something your partner tolerates with good humor, while others may not be so kind.
Simple
Sometimes having a simple style is the best way to go. A simple wedding vow is composed of a few words that come straight from your heart. You don't need to serenade your partner with a self-composed sonnet. A simple "I love you" and "I'm glad to be sharing my life with you," along with a few extra heart-felt words can be perfect.
Short and Sweet
Short and sweet vows are very much like the simple wedding vow, except that a short and sweet vow is limited in words, and the words used are often much more concise and straight to the point. Poetry may help you to get an idea of how to express your vows in this manner. However, be mindful of vows that are too short and sweet. You may also discover that although your vow is short, it might be lacking in the sweet department. The last thing you want to do is prepare a short vow that sounds emotionless. Once you have completed these seven steps, you will be ready to start writing your vows. Remember, you don't have to be Shakespeare to write a vow that will touch the heart of your partner. A wedding vow comes from the heart. Regardless of how long you decide to make it, it is a personal expression and promise that accentuates the love you have for your spouse-to-be.
Chris Simeral is the creator of The Ultimate Wedding Vow Toolkit, the wedding-coordinator-approved home-study course for couples personalizing or renewing their wedding vows. Sign up for the free wedding vow mini-course at http://www.weddingvowtoolkit.com.
