So you are thinking about renewing wedding vows but are not sure about what to do next or even whether it is a good idea? There are a lot of things to consider: why should you renew your vows; the etiquette of renewing wedding vows; who are renewing their vows; and what you can say to renew or reaffirm your vows, are just a few of the questions that are probably flowing through your head. Why don't we just pick one and start there?
Just Who Are Renewing Wedding Vows?
In these days of high divorce rates there are still many people who stay together long enough to consider renewing vows. Even amongst the celebrities there are some who have done so for a variety of reasons. For instance Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne renewed their vows on New Years Eve 2002 for two reasons. Firstly they had made it to 20 years of marriage in the mad cap world of rock and roll and secondly because Sharon had just survived a serious bout with colon cancer.
They are not the only celebrities to have renewed their vows. In the film industry, Robert de Niro and Grace Hightower have renewed theirs. While in sports David and Victoria Beckham have renewed theirs and back in music, Madonna and Guy Richie have renewed their vows as well.
Why Do People Renew Their Vows?
You need a good, positive reason to renew your vows. For instance to renew them as an excuse for an exciting party is a bit too flippant. Renewing wedding vows is a very meaningful renewal of the life long commitment that you made to each other when you were first married.
So, what are some good reasons for renewing vows? To celebrate a major wedding anniversary (as Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne did to celebrate their 20th anniversary) is a great reason. As is the celebration of overcoming a major life challenge, as, again, Ozzy and Sharon did to celebrate Sharon's victory over cancer. Or it might be that you've come out the other side of a rough patch in your marriage and you feel the need to renew and strengthen your vows as Victoria and David Beckham did.
And then again you may have had a small intimate wedding or you may even have eloped or had a destination wedding and you now feel that you'd like all your friends and relatives to witness you renewing vows. Or you may have had a civil ceremony and feel that now you'd like to have a religious ceremony.
And then it may signify a change in lifestyle as, for instance when your children have left home and you can renew your commitment to each other as life partners.
But then again, who could need a better reason for renewing wedding vows than it is a very romantic thing to do.
What Is The Etiquette For Renewing Wedding Vows?
As renewing wedding vows is not a legally binding ceremony, the etiquette is not nearly as formal as for the initial wedding. For instance there is no need for a licensed Officiant. Therefore the Officiant can be anyone -- one of your children, a close friend or a licensed Officiant if you like.
Also there is no call for presents or other wedding functions like bachelor or bachelorette parties. In fact they would be frowned upon. You want the presence of your friends and relatives not their presents!
You should make it clear that you don't want presents either on the formal invitation or by word of mouth, for instance, on acceptance of the invitation.
What Do People Say When Renewing Wedding Vows?
The structure of the renewing vow ceremony itself and what is said is also fairly much up to you. You can use your original vows as the basis of the renewing marriage vow ceremony or you can write or have something written especially for the occasion.
Your children and parents can be included in the ceremony by having a family unity ceremony as part of the renewing vows proceedings. Using a unity ceremony can help bind the family together so that you go forward with a renewed commitment to each other.
A unity sand ceremony is a wonderful way to express family unity and it has the advantage of giving you a beautiful physical memento of the commitments made on the happy day.
The unity sand ceremony is based on ages old American Indian or Hawaiian wedding ceremonies. It signifies the joining of two lives into one by the pouring of different colored sands by the two people into a single unity jar. This gives a pattern from the blending of the colors and a lasting memento of the occasion.
You Decide How Your Renewing Wedding Vows Ceremony Goes!
Whether you had a large no expense spared wedding or an elopement it doesn't matter. It is up to you to decide on a cost effective small intimate renewing wedding vows ceremony or to pull out all the stops and really have the big renewing vows ceremony that you may have wanted but missed out on before.
It's all up to you and with the relaxed etiquette and potential informality of the ceremony you can really add your personality to the proceedings. You can really make the renewing wedding vows celebration an Affair to Remember!
Sharon Vaz is founder of http://www.unitysandceremony.net, an authority website dedicated to providing brides resources on planning a spectacular Unity Sand Ceremony. The Unity Sand Ceremony is the hip alternative to the Unity Candle Ceremony and is perfect for beach weddings, outdoor weddings and blended family weddings.
